I remember carefully putting one foot in front of the other, as I walked blindfolded through the woods. I was on a "trust walk" during a weekend workshop. Question: do I trust who is leading me? Yes. The more steps I took, the more confident I became and the straighter I stood. I listened to the directions of when to go, when to duck, and when to stop.
This happened seven years ago and in the years since, there have been other such trust journeys. One time I was going to my weekly Women's Meditation Group. Guidance came through and said that I was to go to the class and say that I would not be staying. I was to tell her that I had been guided to do something else. What that something else was, I hadn't a clue. What I did know was that this would be another time to trust spirit.
I got into my car and started to drive towards home. Not a half a mile down the road, at the first traffic light, I heard, "Turn left." The voice was direct. After confirming that it was St. Germain and that it was for my highest good, I put on my blinker. Then fear made my body tremble. My agitated child-self was ranting, "Yeah, but you don't know where this road goes. It might go to Brockton, and there are some bad areas in Brockton. You might get us lost. I don't want to go there and I want to go home. And are you going to do everything you hear? And..."
I turned left. Two blocks down the road I came to a stop sign. I had to turn left or right. I asked spirit which way. I heard right. Without the sun to guide me I had no idea in what direction I was traveling. When I came to a fork in the road, I hesitated. Even through the yellow line curved right, and the cars ahead of me followed it, I heard to go straight.
I found myself in an industrial area. My child-self started to protest loudly. "Now you have done it! Oh, great. You had to listen to that voice! Well, now we are really lost and there is no way you will be able to get out of this one." To make matters worse, I saw up ahead an old, deserted two story house that looked like it was from a scary movie; the kind of house that you are never supposed to go near. I felt that if I drove by, it would reach out and grab me and I would never be heard from again. I was beginning to doubt my wisdom when I realized that this was similar to my "trust walk."
I asked myself the same question I had asked when I was blindfolded; Do I trust who is leading me? Yes. I breathed deeply and as the fear and confusion flowed out of my body, I drove past the house. I came to another stop sign. Looking right, my heart sank. There were endless industrial buildings shrouded in darkness. To my great relief, in the other direction I saw houses and a neighborhood store. Civilization! My grip on the wheel loosened.
Of course I made it back home that night. I finally stumbled onto a familiar road and in no time I was headed back towards Hingham. As I drove, I thought about my fears and my trust. Trust in spirit outweighed my fears and brought me home.
In the "Wizard of Oz" Dorothy had her own "trust walk." From the moment she arrived in Munchkin Land she knew she was going home. There was never any hesitation or doubt. Following the Yellow Brick Road, she continued along her path. When her travels took her to a spooky enchanted forest with a ferocious lion, she too trembled. Upon standing up to her fears, the lion, she realized that her fears were just an illusion. The lion was not a threat. When I stood up to my fears on my trust drive, I realized that they were illusions as well. There weren't any real dangers. My car had just been serviced and it was a cold rainy night. In my heart I too knew I would make it home.
Dorothy always had the ability to go home. She just didn't know it. The answer was inside her. All she had to do was state what she wanted and trust that Glinda, the Good Witch, would show her the way. Dorothy trusted. She put out her intention, stated it clearly and she was home.
My current "trust walk" has no blindfolds or stop lights. And though my life is not a Hollywood movie which will find its answer in two hours, I do know that I too have the ability to go home. I have discovered that there are many ways of looking at something, giving rise to endless possibilities. Taking the time to look at my life from different perspectives, I am able to acknowledge my fear of how I am going to do something, and then continue. Rather than limiting myself by what I perceive, I am creating a different way of being. I create my own reality, and I have the ability to choose what kind of reality it will be. I am finding my truth by trusting in each moment. As I follow my heart, I know I AM THE CREATOR. Question: Do I trust who is leading me? Answer: YES.
THE PLAY
by Wendy Scott FletcherWhen I was a senior in college, I needed an elective to complete my requirements. I decided to take "Introduction to Theater Arts". I have always enjoyed the theatre and wanted to see what it would be like to pursue this interest. When I was twelve years old I performed in a play called "Tumblepit's Tale". I remember a very small stage and forgetting my lines. Being older I figured that a basic theater course would be an altogether different experience.
One of my assignments is still vivid even after all these years. Our teacher divided us into three groups: Group #1 was to perform a drama, group #2 a comedy and group # 3, well, I forget. He handed out the appropriate scripts to each group stating that we were not to discuss our play with the others. We arrived the following week clutching our meager props; after all it was only a two page script. I remember each group clustered in a different section of the audience. My group was seated center stage left anxiously awaiting to perform our drama. The comedy group was chosen to go first.
House lights were dimmed and the play commenced. As I listened to the lines being spoken by one of the characters, I realized that these were my lines! But how could this be? He had tricked us. It was the same script, yet not the same play. The voice intonation was different, the cadence was different and his body language was not what my character would have done. The feeling of the whole play was different.
I have thought about that exercise on and off through the years. For the last couple of months I have been thinking about it even more. In November I was getting ready for a family gathering and something triggered an old memory. I immediately became agitated and upset. I barked at my husband, "Why don't you go and get the car!" A second before I had been happy, anticipating the fun we would be having. The change was so dramatic that I stopped, took three deep breaths, grounded and decided this was not going to serve me. I thought how quickly a fun occasion had turned into a drama! The emotion behind my words had given another interpretation to the scene.
Every day I perform a play. I give words meaning by the energy I give them. I assign them emotions which contain acceptance or judgement, laughter or sadness, pain, difficulty, wisdom or mere chatter. Some words have no hidden meaning or hidden agenda and others do. I decided to look at some of the plays I create .
Last night as I started to wash the dishes, the words I was thinking,"I'm doing the dishes," began to mutate. Please read these words with all the loathing and resentment you can muster. Now, read them again as sarcastic. Imagine how Rosanne would say this line on her show. How would Tim Allen say them on "Home Improvements?" What about Forest Gump? How would their facial expressions and body language differ? And now imagine the Divine Mother. What if group # 3 was given a JOYFUL play to do? What if I lived my life-play as JOYFUL? What if?1/95
I don't know when I first talked to God. I know that from a very young age before I went to sleep I would say the prayer, "Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep" and then bless everyone. I remember the list. It started out with, "God bless Mommy and Daddy," and then it continued by two's. I had to pair everyone, because it had to come out even. I don't remember why. My brother and sister came next followed by relatives I had never met and then my dog. To round it off I included a stuffed animal. I went to Sunday school, although my parents did not attend the church service. My mom would drop me off and then come back to pick me up. I wonder why she didn't go.
I became angry at God around the age of ten. I was no longer a child and I started questioning what was going on in my family. I was like an only child because my brother and sister were already out of college by that time. My mother drank and so did my father. There were physical and mental abuse issues as well. Because Dad was a "prominent" member of the community, I grew up with secrets. I couldn't understand why God wasn't helping me. After all, I knew that every family wasn't like mine; I watched "The Ozzie and Harriet Show" and "Father Knows Best."
We moved to the state of New York when I was eleven. At first I went to the Episcopal Church. I wasn't happy there, so I attended the Congregational Church. I felt protected and accepted there except for the tests. At the Middle School I attended I was in the "special" class because I didn't read very well. Back in the 50's they hadn't heard about learning disabilities. Anyhow, I remember we were going to have a big test on the Bible. I'm sure I tried to get out of going that Sunday, but to no avail. As I sit here typing, I can recall the scene vividly. I walked into the large sunny room and announced to the others in my class that I was not going to take the test and proceeded to hide under the covered piano. Why would a God who is supposed to love and care about me humiliate me and cause me such pain and misery? That is when I told God I was mad at him and that I wasn't going to talk to him anymore. I was going to talk to Jesus!
Talking to Jesus lasted a number of years until I was shipped off in my senior year of high school to live with my brother, his wife and child in another state. I attended church there for a few months and then stopped going because I didn't feel as if I belonged. I figured I was giving God many chances to reconnect with me, but he wasn't holding up his part of the deal.
In college I gave up altogether. As my roommate would go out the door Sunday mornings, I would yell out, "Tell God I said hi." She was not impressed. In my own way I guess I was keeping in touch.
And then about six years ago events began to happen that have lead me to where I am now. Once I let go of the image of "GOD" that had been created in my mind, I was able to establish a different relationship with the energy I felt around me. I had heard the word Spirit used and realized that no baggage was connected with it. I felt liberated. I could create my own unique relationship with the god force.
I no longer had to depend on a religion to tell me who this was or what I was to believe. I no longer feel that the God of my youth must save me. I no longer feel that I was abandoned. Spirit allows me the ability to create a new and joyous communion with the One. I am limitless with what I am able to create. I am free of the many memories and guilt that I have carried with me for so long. Pure love is what I feel from Spirit and with this love I will become all that I have chosen to be.3/95
I wanted to go away for the weekend and decided to stay at Wintergreen, a year round resort located in the Blue Ridge Mountains west of Charlottesville. On Saturday the sun was shinning and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I stopped off at the Nature Center to see what kind of trails were available. There were many to choose from, and with map in hand I ventured out to commune with nature.
The trail I chose was easy to find and as I began the descent, I heard a group of fellow hikers coming towards me. Greetings were exchanged, and I continued on my way. The previous afternoon when I had arrived, there was a gentle rain and wind that had gained intensity during the night. The wind howled and the rain came down in torrents. Because of the amount of rain that had fallen during the night, the stream I had to cross was swollen and swift. Where there should have been an easy crossing , there was none.
Undaunted I looked for another way. As none was obvious, I started to head downstream. After a short walk I found a large, flat sunny rock. While resting there I began to realize what I wanted. I hadn't been able to find an easy way across the stream, so I changed my hiking plans to meditation. Mind came in to protect and said: "Well, you had to change your plans because it was too difficult to get across; You are alone; You would get your boots wet." Thanking mind, I asked for guidance. A warm feeling of peace came over me. My guide posed these questions to me. "Would you be able to get across? Heart said yes. Would it be difficult? Heart said no. Would you rather turn back?" Immediately mind chimed in with, "What had the other hikers done?" Yes, I thought, there was a part of me that wanted to be doing what everybody else was, so I would get their approval.
I thought there must be a place where there were large rocks or logs or branches or a combination of them to get me to the other side. So what if I got my boots wet; Mom wasn't here. I could take my shoes off and wade across! Yes, I did want to see the waterfall and no, I was not going to turn back. I also realized that it didn't matter where the others had crossed. Then mind complained, "Why hadn't they told you where to cross! It was outrageous!" Mind was about to go on and on until I screamed STOP!
From where I sat I could see two possible crossings. By quieting mind I was able to allow a solution. Before long I was across the stream, and my boots were dry! Soon I was forging through the woods to find the well worn path to the waterfall.
When I reached the falls, I found a tree and leaned up against it. I had made it! I enjoyed the warmth of the sun and the roaring of the falls. I toned a sound that resonated with the power of the waterfall. Looking up to the top of the falls I noticed a rock that looked like a giant turtle just about to go over the edge. I bid it a good-day and asked if it would speak to me.
"Welcome, Dancing Rain, was the reply. I invite you to think about your sister, water. Water travels very far and never gets hurt. It swirls around meeting what you might consider many obstacles. In some places it might look as though it were trapped in a backwash along the edge of the stream, yet when the rains come water is flushed out. In summer water might evaporate or be soaked into the ground. It is always moving. Learn from your sister and live life as water."
One thought led to another and I began thinking about what some people had said to me about my moving to Charlottesville. They had said it took a lot of courage for me to move here. I have thought about that a lot these past 6 weeks. Is it courage, faith or a knowing? Is it a trust in the universe or am I just plain crazy? What about crossng the stream? Was it courage, faith or a knowing that I could do it? What was the purpose of crossing the stream? Was it just to get to the other side or was it to enjoy nature? Was it to talk to brother turtle or was it to realize that I do know?
There are many ways that I can view my journey to Charlottesville. I may look at this traversing as a way to my higher self, or I may look at it in a number of different ways. It is all a way of being. Water chooses to make moving down a stream as easy as a bird in flight gliding on the wind. I can choose to make my life the same way. Going with the flow will allow me to get where I am going. There are many secrets that nature has to offer us and being one with spirit with love will allow us to hear them all.When my daughter was planning her ninth birthday party, she decided to have a treasure hunt. The prize was chosen, and then I designed the clues that would ultimately lead them on their quest. I didn't want to make the clues too obvious, because I wanted them to have the satisfaction of figuring out each one.
I did enjoy seeing them find the message, reading it, and then realizing what it meant. I watched their faces as their expressions changed from not knowing to knowing, the shriek of delight and the racing off to find another clue. I feel like I too have been on a treasure hunt these last ten years.
In January of 1985 my father-in-law was diagnosed with leukemia and given two months to two years to live. It was a very unsettling time for everyone in the family, and I realized after a couple of months that somehow, I needed to find out how long it would be before he left the earth plane.
It was March of that some year, I had returned from doing errands and as I checked the clock, I realized that there was only ten minutes remaining in the show I usually watched: Treasure Hunt Clue #1: TURN ON THE TV TO "PEOPLE ARE TALKING"
A psychic had just been introduced. She was given the ring of someone who worked at the TV station. No other information was provided. Juliana gave numerous facts about the woman that to the amazement of the host and myself, were correct. At the conclusion of the show, a number was given as to how to contact the guests. Before the commercials were over I was on the phone making an appointment.
Juliana and I became friends and one day three years later she asked if she could come visit me. She told me all about a self-empowering training that she was taking and how it had changed her life. Clue #2: ENROLL
During my training I met a woman named Kathy. Afterwards we kept in touch and discovered that we were both on a spiritual path. In May of 1991 Kathy called and told me of a woman named Melissa, a spiritual channel, who gave readings and lived in New Hampshire. Clue #3: CALL FOR AN APPOINTMENT WITH MELISSA
That was three years ago last June. I have had many clues since then. I realize that I have been on this treasure hunt all my life and that many of the events that have happened were clues. Some are as simple as: GO TAKE A WALK
I never know where these clues will lead me. Once I heard to go to the grocery store even though I really didn't need anything. I met a friend I hadn't seen in a long time. After we parted I knew the reasons for my being there. Other clues that have had a major impact on my life were: GO TO BIMINI WITH KATHY and RENT A COTTAGE IN NEW HAMPSHIRE
Whenever I am conscious and I receive a clue, I act on it. Sometimes my mind questions and I hear to ask my heart. Sometimes mind thinks I am following a clue for one reason and then I discover that there are really two or three reasons why I was led to do what I did. Now I realize that Spirit is so infinite that there may be many, many reasons for being given a clue on my treasure hunt list. And that leads me to my latest clue: GO VISIT WENDY
I first knew Wendy as the "other" Wendy. When I walked into the building where I was to attend the training I had enrolled in, the name tags were arranged alphabetically by first name. I picked up hers by mistake. For the rest of the training she was the "other " Wendy. I met her again through a friend a couple of years ago and we have kept in touch ever since. At the beginning of this year she wrote inviting me up to visit. It wasn't a good time for me, so I stored it away to do at another time. A couple of weeks ago during meditation I heard now was the time.
I began writing this article at her home and I am completing it here, in my own home. As in the past when I opened another clue, I thought I was going for one reason and now I realize that I went for many reasons. It seems as though nothing has changed, yet everything has changed. All I did was visit a friend in New Hampshire.
Spirit must feel as I felt at my daughter's party when another clue was opened, read and acted upon. I feel Spirit smiling with me, knowing that I am closer to being one with Source, closer to my reason for being at the party, closer to the end of my treasure hunt.
Our house is surrounded by woods and wetlands so there are many animals and birds with which we share our backyard. I found a snake skin soon after we moved in, and over the years I have seen many squirrels, chipmunks, groundhogs, rabbits, snapping turtles, an opossum and a couple of skunks. Usually, when I have seen one of my animal brothers or sisters, I go to my bookshelf and open my Medicine Cards to understand the lessons that they are relaying to me.
About a month ago I saw a skunk in the backyard. I called to my 10-year-old to come and look. Silently and cautiously we crept outside for a closer look. The skunk was sniffing at the grass here and there and then waddled off into the brush ignoring us completely. We were very excited, as this was Heather's first look at a real skunk. As it was near dinnertime, I returned to what I had been doing before our visitor had arrived.
That night we were enjoying the cool night air with windows wide open when suddenly Heather and I looked at each other and yelled," SKUNK!" We ran around and closed all the windows and wondered whom our visitor had met during his nocturnal travels. I returned to what I had been doing before our visitor had made his presence known.
The next morning I was meditating and heard to pick out a medicine card. I do this on a regular basis, so I went and got my deck. Innocently, I drew a card. I was holding skunk.
Well, Spirit, you certainly tried a number of different ways to get me to think about Skunk! I figured it was time to read the passage about Skunk in my Medicine Cards before our visitor somehow ended up in the garage:"Skunk . . . tell me the story,
So I will know it well,
Of how to attract,
And how to repel."Skunk medicine! Go ahead and laugh. This furry little animal has a reputation that contains a great deal of power. Due to its distinctive behavior, humans give this tiny, smelly creature a wide berth. The key word here is respect.
"Unlike other predatory animals, skunk does not threaten your life but threatens your senses. You know this to be true if you have ever been in the vicinity of its spray. In observing the habit patterns of skunk, it is easy to notice the playfulness and nonchalance of its natural behavior. The 'I-dare-you' attitude of this four-legged creature commands you, as the observer, to respect its space by mere reputation alone.
"Skunk is teaching you that by walking your talk and by respecting yourself, you will create a position of strength and honored reputation. The carriage of your body relates to others what you believe about yourself. There is no need to bully, aggravate, torment or overpower other beings when your sense of 'self' is intact. As with Skunk, the resonant field of energy around your body is relayed through the senses. Self-esteem permeates the body's energy, and is instantly recognized on an extrasensory level by others.
"Learn to assert, without ego, what you are."
As I think about Skunk, I know its power. I know its energy. As I think about the way it waddled across our yard, I realize that regardless of what is going on around Skunk, Skunk will continue, clear in its intentions and unrelenting in its pursuit.
I realize that it is time for me to call on my power, be clear in my intentions and unrelenting in my pursuit of my Higher Self and my Destiny. It is time for me to respect myself. I want the respect that I know I deserve. The honored reputation that I gain will not come from others, but from myself. If I do not feel the strength of my power, then it does not exist no matter how many people may tell me that it does.
There are many changes taking place on our planet. It is time for those who can see the path and want to experience their power to step forward. When I experience transformations in my life, I realize that Spirit is there to support me (it may be through a skunk or the shade of a tree on a hot summer's day). There are many opportunities that Spirit provides for us. As I begin this day, I look forward to acknowledging my power.9/94
Last October I was visiting a friend in New Hampshire. She had recently returned from a trip to Germany to see Mother Meera. I had never heard of her before and I was immediately intrigued by what I was hearing. Several pictures of Mother at various ages were place in front of me and I was told to pick one. I was drawn to the picture of a young Mother about 20. Her eyes were inviting and the song they sang to me was very compelling.
At home I placed the picture near my bed. As I gazed into her eyes and meditated, I began to recognize her presence by the warm glow that my back radiated. During one meditation I heard Mother say that I would be visiting her in April. My doubting self immediately took over. That would not be possible because it was my daughters' spring vacation and we always went to Florida. I did not see how I could manage two trips. Again in December I heard that I would be going in April.
Then one day in February in meditation I heard very clearly Mother's voice say that I would be going in April and that it was time for me to make my travel arrangements. After talking to my baby-sitter, confirmed; my husband, confirmed; Mother Meera's, confirmed; the recommended hotel, confirmed; and the airlines, confirmed; I realized that yes, I was going. The voice I had so clearly heard back in November knew all along what was going to happen.
So who is this Mother Meera that I was willing to travel more than 6,000 miles to see? Who is this woman who came to me many times to seek me out and beckon me? She is one of several incarnations of the Divine Mother on our planet. She is giving of herself for the Light and the transformation of the Universe in these times of great change. In her own quiet way in a quiet village in Thalheim ,Germany, 60 miles northwest of Frankfurt, Mother gives her darshan on Friday, Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights.
As I got ready for my first night of darshan, I felt as though I was going to visit a friend. As directed, we met outside the hotel ready for the taxi to take us the 4 miles to Mother's. There are no places to stay in Thalheim, so people stay in the surrounding villages. As our mini bus carrying nine passengers rounded the corner of the parking lot where we were to meet, I immediately realized that this was to be different than any other experience I had had before.The parking lot of the town's multi-purpose hall was filled with cars and already a group was assembled at the far end. Some people greeted each other warmly, while others stood around in groups of 2 or 3's. A man in orange pants, white T-shirt and kaki jacket wearing a button with Mother's picture on it approached and told us to follow him. He asked that all those visiting Mother for the "first time ever" raise their hand. He gave us instructions to walk in silence, go into the house, sit on the chairs or pillows and wait for darshan to begin.
The long line outside Mother's house shortened as a man holding a clipboard checked off our names. One must make reservations in advance because Mother's house can only hold about 120 people. I pushed open the door and I silently took off my shoes. I followed the flow and the sound of a woman's voice which beckoned me to come in and take a place.
People filed in and eventually settled. Then from out in the hall people began to rise and Mother came gliding in in her lavender sari with golden threads. She was shorter than I had imagined and petite. She looked beautiful. Her deameanor was that of a school girl, not of a woman 35 years of age. Waves of energy lapped against me like waves at the seashore. As I sat in meditation waiting to go to Mother, I wondered what I would experience. I felt calm and relaxed. Then I heard, "Go after the woman next to you."
As I approached Mother, I began to tremble. My whole being was shaking and I felt I could not stop. I knelt on the pillow before her and touched her feet. Mother cradled my head in her hands. My mind said something about my trembling and all of my beingness came in a wave. All my sorrow, compassion and life was wrapped up in my trembling. And then there was calm. Everything was still. I felt as though minutes had passed and just then her hands released, the signal to kneel back on my heels. Then the next part of gazing into her eyes. I just looked. I was lost. She lowered her gaze, the signal that my darshan was over.
Back at my place I felt calm. When it started to fade, I realized I could still feel Mother's fingers on my head and then the calm returned. Darshan took two hours, yet I felt as though I had been sitting for only a short while.
The second night I was directed to the back of the room on the right in the corner. I was no longer one of the "first time ever" group. While I waited in meditation, I saw myself calmly sitting on a lily pad in the middle of a pond surrounded by trees. If I remained calm, the waters around me were like glass. As soon as mind started to chatter, the waters began to ripple. The lily pad changed into the chair I was sitting in. The waters began to wrap up around me, first in front and then all around. I was encased in a lotus.
I heard, "Come now." As Mother cradled my head, I was transported to a place of calm and knowing. After I returned to my seat and closed my eyes, the lotus waters unfolded and I was sitting on my chair with water stretching out around me in every direction as far as I could see. It was like sitting on the floor of the desert with a mirage of water all around me. When mind started to creep in, the water began to ripple and the chair would begin to rock back and forth until the waters around me were waves, and I found myself in the water. I climbed back on to the chair and was dry again and the waters calm. Again and again this process happened until I felt like one of those toy wooden bead dogs I had had as a youngster. I would push on the wooden circular disk at the bottom and the dog would collapse. When I released the circle, the dog would pop up and become straight again. I heard that when I saw this image I would know when mind was ruling and that it was disrupting my peace.
That night as I wrote about my meditation, I wondered about my experience. The lotus symbolizes the crown opening (union with Source) and merging with the third eye (realization, intuition, clairvoyance). Water represents the element of emotion. When my mind comes in and stirs things up, I go into my emotions and I drown in them. My message was clear. For Spirit to travel clearly and without hindrance, I must allow mind to be still and wait for inner peace and wisdom. Thoughts of doing it right or making the right choice are only illusions.
At the Frankfurt airport I wandered the shops waiting to board. I noticed a toy store and went in hoping to find a little treasure for my daughters,Heather and Sarah. There on top of the cash register was a toy wooden beaded dog just like the one I had seen in meditation. My back began to radiate that warm glow. Thank you, Mother.
The address for Mother Meera is Oberdorf 4a, 65599 Dornburg-Thalheim, Germany, phone 011-49-6436-2305. You need to call and make a reservation. Frankfurt is 6 hours ahead of New York, so 9am would be a good time to call. Americans can book up to eight nights. Books about Mother Meera (Answers, Bringing Down the Light and Harvey Andrew's Hidden Journey) as well as photographs of Mother, are available.http://www.geocities.com/ascendedmaster/MotherMeera.html
